I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
