I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
