guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
