And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
