I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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