It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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