I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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