Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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