so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
