Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
