I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
