it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
