That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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