Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
