oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Please don't give away my fajitas
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
