Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
