is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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