It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
