Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I deserve this hangover.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
