EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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