Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
