There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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