great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
