all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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