So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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