why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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