I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
