Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Randomize
