I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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