I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
