this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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