I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
