Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I love you. Go after that dick
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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