Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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