I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
