It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
