I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
