Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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