Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
