smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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