if you like me you must not know who I am
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
