im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
