and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize