he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
