why didn't you poke me back
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
