this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
