so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
