then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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