i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
