Nicole vs. Life
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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