talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize