And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
