You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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