were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm at about main and main street
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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