We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
