Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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