Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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