he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
