Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
