I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
