I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
