She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
