I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
